Got dumped?

29 11 2007

On a blowy weather, my friend came to me with an dark look on his face, and told me that he just got dumped by a girl, that he loved the most for several years.

And he showed me few of his poems that he just wrote it by himself, as an aftereffect of that incident.

This is my personal approach of ranking poems, that metaphors should be used wisely and there should be a similar soundings between the stanzas. I am not sure what to call them in English language, anyways, I didn’t like his poems very much, because they seem to me as I am reading a paragraph, not a poem. I said, I don’t like it, at least the words at the end should sound alike. He said, like how?

And I thought for sometime, and then wrote these poems, this was my first time to write a poem in English.
Here goes.

Reflecting myself in the water splash,
Reminding me that I am nothing but mess.

She got into me as a raid,
Soon nothing left but betrayed.

Blossoms flew away with blizzard,
I wish nothing but I was a wizard,
That could fly me away like a bird,
From sorrows that made me nerd.

I just tried to teach him how to start. But then I was involved in composing few other poems for myself, as in college I had nothing else to do, during boring classes and free time.

And then I started adding poems to English essays, that really bought me brilliant marks.

Being a poet isn’t a bad thing, it offers you 10/10 marks πŸ˜€
Of course, that’s not why I write poems, but because I really want to

Your comments are appreciated. Thank you πŸ™‚

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10 responses

29 11 2007
zahrag_hrithik

Your poem rocked! I could hardly believe it was your first time writing an English poem or so you claim.
-Zahra Roshan πŸ˜‰

29 11 2007
Ahmed Mujtaba

Thanks Zahra Roshan!

Yes, that’s my first time to compose a poem in English.
As you might have noticed, my vocabulary is very weak, and the words used in the poems are very common, and simpler.

I try to put these simple words, and jumble them, to get a complex meaning. Makes sense?

Metaphors are my favourite πŸ™‚

29 11 2007
Asad

Wow your rhyming is cool…
R u dumped too? πŸ˜€
Hope not πŸ™‚

30 11 2007
Ahmed Mujtaba

If you read it from top to bottom, it says, “(friend)he just got dumped by a girl”

πŸ™‚

30 11 2007
Aadil

The poem’s nice and I see in you a very promising poet to emerge. Keep it up! and do give your imagination some flights!

30 11 2007
Nikki

Now see you came to me saying “I wish i could write like you” and now u discovered smethng tht ur Good At…told ya ur Unique too just like Us all :> it takes time to understand who we really r…n for me i too discovered myslf wid the help of a person i really admire πŸ™‚

now i should b the one saying “I wish i cld narrate things like U ;>”

Allah blesses U…
Ameen

Sana

30 11 2007
Ghazala Khan

Hello ,
I hope you are fine and carrying on the great work you have been doing for the Pakistani side of WWW. I am Ghazala Khan from The Paksitani Spectator (TPS), We at TPS throw a candid look on everything happening in and for Pakistan. We are trying to contribute our humble share in the blogistan.

We at TPS are carrying out a new series of interviews with the notable Pakistani bloggers. In that regard, we would like to interview you, if you dont mind. Please send me your approval for your interview at pak.spectator at gmail.com, so that I could send you the questions. We would be extremely grateful. We have done many interviews with many bloggers from Pakistan like Dr. Awab, Kashif Aziz, Fahd Mirza and host of others.

regards.

Ghazala Khan
The Pakistani Spectator
pakspectator.blogspot.com

1 12 2007
Ahmed Mujtaba

@Aadil
Thank you Aadil.
You guys encourage me to write more and more πŸ™‚

@Nikki
lol
Nah! I am too good at this, pathetic poems, in my terms.
God Bless you too!

@Ghazala Khan
I am not sure if I am qualified for being interviewed, it’s like a dream come true.

21 02 2008
suzsnooze

hey ya! yeah it’s true..this is my first time that i got dumped b/c this is my 2nd bf. my first i dumped him. but this one acually broke my heart….i cried so much..i luved poems and write them but couldn’t think so i just wanted to look some up and see other people’s feelings. *sniff* but yeah i really like this poem. it suits people like me for example. but hey what’d u feel when writing this?

21 02 2008
Ahmed Mujtaba

@suzsnooze:
Thanks for writing, yeah I know how it feels when somebody gets dumped by someone very special, my friend was barely crying.
I could look into his eyes, how much pain he has took, so at the time of writing, I was considering myself as him. He used to tell me about her and praise her before he was dumped.

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